Funniest SEO Bull I’ve Ever Heard.
By Igor Mordkovich on Oct 10, 2006 in General, SEO
- We have an established partnership with Google and we are actually involved in the modifications of Google algorithm.
- Google allows you to do paid inclusion where you can pay for natural rankings.
- We will guarantee that 30% of your keywords (selected by our team) will rank in top 10 on MSN and YAHOO.
- We can get you into 600 search engines with this easy submit software
- Our engineers can predict the future changes in Google algorithm
- If you do not take our “monthly maintenance plan” of $700/mo you will go from #1-3 to #20-30 in natural rankings in as little as 1 month.
- Changing Meta Tags should do the job.
- You’re not ranking well because we told you to change that 1 word in your copy and you didn’t.
If you’ve heard something funny from an SEO, feel free to share it.
The really funny thing is that some that bull is true. For instance #3 and #6 can definitely be made to be true. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re dealing with a bogus SEO!
St0n3y | Oct 11, 2006 | Reply
Stoney, …. #3 is funny because they offered to take 4-5 word keywords. I am sure they can achieve the promise, but what good will it do?
#6 … This would be maybe true to a very competitive field (gambling, porn, etc). For most websites … if you put thousands of dollars into your SEO and 1 months of “doing nothing” will take you from ranking #3 to ranking #33 … the tactics used by SEO are not legitimate and/or not long term. Quick link there, quick link here.
Don’t forget that many legitimate websites tend to pick up links naturally later on, so an SEO is kind of a wheel spinner. If a website is unable to maintain at least a little of that spinning force by it’s self … most likely there is nothing special about the site or their business.
Most sites I worked with, in as little as 4 months would generate natural SEO effect without the “pros” doing anything. This was the effect of positive PR, joint ventures, etc.
Igor Mordkovich | Oct 11, 2006 | Reply
Here’s a couple I have heard:
“We noticed you don’t show up on Google for your main keywords”
(Yet, there site does not even rank for its own domain name)
“We noticed your website was banned in Google, do you need help getting back in?”
Here is an irritating one:
“If you don’t use our SEO services we will report you to Google and get you black listed”
Its companies like these that give SEO’s a bad name….
Funny post….Thanks….sadly I have delt with all of these in some form….
Mat Siltala | Oct 11, 2006 | Reply
Mat, I like the
“If you don’t use our SEO services we will report you to Google and get you black listed”
I guess that would be the last (dumb) reserve before they shut down their basement office and call it quits.
Igor Mordkovich | Oct 12, 2006 | Reply